Today was my last day of Winter Break, and I really wanted to avoid leaving the house. This is for two reasons. 1) It was the last day of Winter Break, so I didn't want to go anywhere. 2) The high was negative three degrees today, so why WOULD I want to go outside. And so, even though my to-do list indicated that I needed to go to the school, I decided to not do that.
It's ok, I printed off things before break because I was feeling especially on top of it, for whatever reason, so I'm good to go.
Now, my to-do list did have me do quite a few things around the house, and I decided to give a listen to an audio book. I've fallen so far behind on my podcasts, I don't even know where to begin with them. So, I purchased an audio book that I had figured I was going to purchase eventually, either audio or in print, and gave it a go. The book was The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck by Mark Manson. I should add that I am not a reader of Mark Manson's blog (I didn't know about him until I listened). Honestly, I chose this book because it's title amused me, and I figured I could stretch my chores into the 5 and half hours listening to the book required.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck (I need an abbreviated title. The Subtle Art? TSAONGAF?) was incredibly enjoyable to listen to. I sincerely mean that. It is, at it's core, a self-help book. I'm not usually one for those types of things. I'm not going to pretend that I have everything figured out, and I'm not going to criticize people that read self-help books, it's just not my thing. But, again, amusing title. I figured it would be a self-help book with a twist.
I was not disappointed.
Manson argues that what he means by "not giving a fuck" is not a glorious indifference to everything. It is not an advocation of being uncaring. Instead, it's the opposite. It's caring a lot about specific things, people, ideas, yourself, and not caring what others have to say about it.
One of Manson's main points is that one of society's problems is that we care too much (I'll avoid his preferred term, if only because I try to keep my online writing PG....maybe PG-13). People who lose it over baristas that short change them on accident, or get wrapped up in the cancellation of a TV show, these things become so important to them and are a big deal because there is a lack of caring about other things. Manson argues that it's better to let that sort of thing go (Not GAF, if you will) and instead focus on what matters.
His other main point is that sometimes the person that you can't or shouldn't GAF about is yourself. Sometimes, we are the person holding us back. Do you want to be a writer? Do you want to ask that woman out? Do you want a promotion? What's stopping you? It might be yourself. If it is, Manson doesn't say, "That's wrong! Believe in yourself!" He says to question why. Maybe you haven't taken the plunge to be a writer because you're unsure of your skills. Maybe you don't feel comfortable in relationships. Maybe you simply haven't put your foot in the door. Sometimes, Manson writes, we have to look at ourselves to better understand our values, and see if what we say we want is what, in actuality, we want.
I don't know how much of Manson's argument is really new. I don't read a lot of self-help books, so I can't compare it. But, when I think about his argument, really, it seems like a lot of what you would find in any self help book. Think critically about yourself, your actions, and your desires. Here's some tips on maintaining close, personal relationships. Here's some harsh truths that people don't want to accept. But, he packages it around some really entertaining anecdotes, uses enough shock language to keep you engaged (Not just vulgarity. At one point he writes that a possible solution to finding a baby on your doorstep is to feed it to a pit bull. It should go without saying that Manson does not advocate this course of action and he did write immediately afterwards that every decision has consequences), and has some refreshing bluntness to make it stand out a bit.
Since, this blog includes the words "I Think" in the title, I figure this would be a good time do so. I have some goals, so let's apply Manson's line of thinking to them.
1) Write more. Why do I want to do this? I've always enjoyed writing. So, on the surface level, it's about doing something that is enjoyable. But, this year, I have said I want to write 1,000 words per day that are not work related. This ocassionally sounds insane to me. But, why do I want to do it? Part of it is because I've always thought that I could write, but never went about writing. Sure, I've done National Novel Writing Month and cranked out some crappy half-finished novels. But, I haven't written. So, I'm saying that every day, I'm writing. What's held me back from writing in the past? Myself. As Manson says, you are responsible for your actions. I can always say that I had a lot of school or work, but...eh. I found time to watch all of Breaking Bad.
2) Get down to 200 pounds. Manson actually talks about losing weight in his book, in that it is a short term goal that's good, but if you don't have one to replace it, then you can feel inadequate. I've made some progress towards this goal (I've lost about 20 pounds since August.) But, I've tried for years to lose weight. My Timehop is littered with statuses about "Hitting the gym!" and "Have to lose weight". But, I've really committed myself this time, and have seen results. Like my writing, I've decided that exercise is a priority. I've decided nutrition is a priority. So, I have tracked my food, and made sure I work out for 30-60 minutes each day. I've made the time. Once I get to 200, I don't know what will replace it. But, I know I'll have to be vigilant to maintain.
3) Save money. I think a lot of the same things can be applied to my quest to save money. It's about long term planning, and making priorities. Do I want to buy a house, or do I want a new Kindle? Do I want to have a savings cushion, or do I want the latest tech gadget? If I can carve out time for writing and exercise, then I need to carve out priorities with money. What's really important? What do I really need? I think it's ok to treat yourself every now and again, but instead of looking at what I could get in the short term, it's time to squirrel some away and think long term.
Overall, I thought Manson's book was very interesting, and it certainly gave me something to think about. And really, isn't that all you can hope for in a self-help book, even if it doesn't market itself as a self-help book?
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